take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize