i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
