Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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