laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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