We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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