I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
