good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
