How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
