dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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