about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
