I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize