I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize