do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
