She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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