Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize