It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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