she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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