I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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