I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
