allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
