Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
