Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
