I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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