Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
