im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
