I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
