wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
