brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
