They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
