just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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