Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
We should try that some time.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
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Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.