I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
