How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
