i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
This toilet bowl is my home.
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