it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
