Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
