is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
