I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
