"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
