i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
