do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
