Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
