When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call