well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
