does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
