Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
