he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
