they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
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I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
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I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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