oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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