I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
