Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
