so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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