How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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