Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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