I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
