id be glad to
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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