As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
