She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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