My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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