Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
