Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
FUCK WHALES
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