even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I love having hate sex.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
