So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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