Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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