How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
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Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
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They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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