why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
